ON PATAGONIA

I’m not even going to lie to y’all. As we boarded our flight from Tangier to Madrid on Christmas Eve, I was exhausted. And not the kind of exhausted where you’ll wake up refreshed after a good night's sleep. 

I was tired in my bones. Pissed we were taking a 14 hour flight on Christmas. Not giving a rats ass about spending four days in Buenos Aires. The kind of done that had me convinced I wasn’t going to see a single thing in the next three months that would knock me off my feet. Had I not seen it all already?!

Had we been heading anywhere other than South America, I suspect the trip would have come to an abrupt halt due to my aforementioned fatigue. I genuinely didn’t think I had it in me to be awe stricken by one more vista. There was not a single bone in my body interested in trying a new food. I would’ve just as soon died as gotten on another bus.

And then viola, there I was flaying a lamb, weeping at the sheer expanse of Patagonia, cursing myself for eating two helpings of provoleta before the most spectacular bus ride of my life. When life gives you Patagonia, it simply doesn’t matter how tired your bones are; you have no choice but to savor it. 

Here are the highlights of our trip! 

El Calafate, Argentina

We started our journey in El Calafate and while there was a bit of drama (read: exasperation) upon our arrival (it was New Years so everything in town was closed for two days), I saw my first ever glacier making the rigamarole of finding food worth it. 

We started our adventure in Los Glacieres National Park, walking down some paths that provided different vantage points of El Perito Moreno Glacier. Contrary to what I’d thought just a few days before (haven’t I seen it all?!?!) I’d never seen anything like it.

The pristine white of the glacier contrasts sharply with various deep blue hues of the surrounding lakes and mountains. Over and over and over again I found myself standing in awe of the glacier, completely forgetting to appreciate the equally stunning mountain range in the background. Or the equally beautiful lake, ringed by more mountains at my back. It was quite literally too much for two eyes to take in. 

After spending an hour or so shrieking at the glacier from the footpaths, we found ourselves standing at the edge of Lago Argentino, where a boat took us on a journey into the heart of the glacier. As the boat glided across the turquoise waters, the imposing mass of ice grew ever closer, towering above us in all its glory. I cannot understate the size of this thing. GINORMOUS. Approaching the glacier from the water provided an unbelievable perspective, allowing me to appreciate its sheer size and grandeur up close. I was gobsmacked.

Disembarking from the boat, we got to go mini trekking which is basically snowshoeing but instead of being on a mediocre path in Evergreen, Colorado you’re on an enormous ass glacier. Ice caves, crystal-clear streams, more shades of indescribable blue and towering ice formations abound. I was so happy I couldn’t even tell you if it was cold. 

The highlight came at the end of our experience. Our guides had set up a bar on the glacier and they were serving whiskey on the rocks. The “rocks” were clumps of ice they picked up off the glacier, put into our glasses and poured whiskey on top of. It was as memorable a New Year's Day as I’ve ever had.

El Chalten, Argentina

From El Calafate, we made our way to El Chalten. I feel obligated to say the highlight was Mt. Fitz Roy, and believe me when I say it left an impression. But I knew going in that it would. It’s why we came to El Chalten and the views delivered. 

My highlight, surprisingly, was a dinner we had at a restaurant called The Asadores. My mom struck up a conversation with a gal staying in the same hostel (who is surprised) and this girl recommended we try this place. She did not lead us astray. 

Great wine, some surprising food, some expected food done really well in a cozy restaurant where you could justttt see into the kitchen. The menu was prefixed so we didn’t have to make a single decision and there was a live band that came in, played three songs and then left us in peace.

Following two days where we hiked 15 miles and then biked 30 on gravel it hit (!) the (!) spot (!).

Puerto Natales, Chile

From El Chalten, we made our way to Puerto Natales where my highlight was an all day excursion we did to Estancia La Peninsula. 

An estancia is essentially a ranch and in Patagonia, estancias are typically characterized by vast expanses of land used for agricultural or livestock purposes, such as cattle ranching, or sheep farming. Historically, estancias played a significant role in the economy and culture of these regions, often representing wealth and influence. These days, many estancias have evolved into tourist destinations or resorts, offering visitors opportunities to experience rural life, horseback riding, and traditional activities. Which is exactly what we did. 

Allow me to set the scene.

To get to the estancia, we got on a boat where we crossed the Ultima Esperanza Fjord to arrive at the Antonio Veras Peninsula. As we arrived I couldn’t help but laugh. We had pulled up to a literal fairytale.  As we  prepared to disembark, a bright red barn came into view. A red barn and a huge wooden house that was all windows. The house and the barn are set on a huge expanse of barren land littered with huge round hay bales, dozens of sheep, and a smattering of white horses. Directly behind the barn/house is the most spectacular, snow capped mountain range you’ve ever seen or dreamed of seeing. To the right and to the left, azure blue waters with more pampas and more mountains. There isn’t a road to be seen; not another house, not another building, just pristine nature. 

I haven’t even gotten off the boat, and already it's worth the price of admission.

Stop one is into the house of windows and god almighty did they know what they were doing when they built this house of windows. It was like enjoying the view from outside without the cold or wind. Plus a hot coffee and sopaipilla in hand. As I stood there drooling, staring at the wide open expanse of pampas and impossibly blue water, ten white horses ran by, their white hair billowing in the wind, being corralled by an actual facial gaucho. I literally could not have written it any more perfectly. Hot drink, fried pastry, otherworldly view, and white fucking horses. The owner of this place knows how to curate a vibe.

The rest of the day followed suit. We went horseback riding on said white horses. Rode through green southern beech forests, stopped for photos at an overlook that had I not been there to see it myself I would have sworn was deep faked, saw sheep dogs herding sheep, saw a sheep get sheared, ate pounds of lamb cooked on the spit and drank too much good wine. 

When I close my eyes and think back on what I thought the Radical Sabbatical ™ would be before we started the journey, it’s days like this one. Where you literally cannot believe the fabulousness of what's in front of you. Day that there’s no way you could accurately describe the experience to somebody else. Like what are you to say “so get this. We showed up to the prettiest place maybe on plant earth and there were all these white horses running arounf. Then I got to ride one. Also the people who worked on the estancia were real life gauchos like you see in the movies. Like copy paste but this was real. Then, I had the best wine and lamb I’ve ever had, and then there were sheep and dogs running everywhere and then a hot old man sheared a sheep.” K…..

Patagonia is extraordinary to the point of indescribable. It’s a place that commands reverence with its immense size and dynamic movements (movement being wind, mostly) and I look forward to the day when I can return.